I just spent 3 days at a conference with some of the biggest thinkers, dreamers and doers in the world, and it made me think about the circles of people we keep around us. The level of conversation among the attendees was insane to me. I didn’t hear the word can’t the entire time. 1,800 people came from all over the world to hear a few people whom we all admired tell us we could be great.

Here’s the single most important idea I left with; If there’s someone in your circle who makes you second-guess what you are or makes you rethink what you’re capable of doing, that person has to go. Your dream is too fragile to let just anybody around it. Your dream needs to be protected.

Before I continue, let me make this clear: you’re going to need help. You are not going to reach the mountaintop of your destiny alone. We were not created to do life alone, but on your journey, you have to have the right people around you – friends, supporters, and a squad that gives you life.

We should be oxygen givers to each other. If I’m on your team, my words should gas you up and fill your soul with belief. Likewise, your words should be filling me up. I should be more energized after leaving your presence than I was before we got together. I should have so much courage after we talk that I feel like I can handle whatever life is throwing at me.

When you tell people in your circle about your goal, they should make you feel like you can accomplish it and also push you to even think a little bigger than you’re already thinking. Your squad should be bouncing big ideas around with you and speaking life into you, pushing you to reach your fullest potential. But, if they’re causing your tank to leak with their cynicism, criticism, and bad energy, you will run out of oxygen before you reach the summit of your destiny.

You have to be vigilant about recognizing the depleters. Sometimes, what they say is subtle and seems innocent enough, so you ignore it or you let it slide off your back. Regardless of how small the dig was, it still damaged the tank.

An unsolicited opinion from your friend, “Girl! you need more experience before you apply for that job!”  or a “What do you mean you want to write a book? Since when did you become a writer!?” will rob you of your confidence.

Now, I’m not going to pretend that letting these people go is easy to do. These might be people you love and care about deeply, but that’s when the commitment to fulfilling your destiny gets tested. You have to be so dedicated to accomplishing everything you were put on this earth to do that you’re willing to walk away from people you care about because they drain the life from you.

The people you need around you may not be close to you in proximity – sometimes, you have to travel to find the squad you’re looking for. Hard as it might be, you may even have to walk alone for awhile. Whatever is necessary to live the life you were called to live, I pray you have the courage to do it.

You must choose yourself. Every time.

You don’t have to be dramatic about letting them go. There’s no need to give a speech or even tell them why they’re wrong about something they did or said. This next chapter is about you, and finding your way to your mountaintop. It’s not about them and what they might’ve done or said to you.

There is nothing more devastating than unfulfilled dreams and nothing sweeter than realizing your destiny. Let them go so you can win.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” 1 Thessalonians 5:11