Lurker: a person who lurks, in particular a user of an Internet social media site or platform who, upon noticing your funny, beautiful, or interesting post, cannot manage to double-tap or hit the like button, thus avoiding openly celebrating your efforts.

Source: The Angela Lucas Woke-American Dictionary, available at your local library. Or not.

We all have them.

They breathe in the fresh, glorious air of your recent status update, and keep scrolling like they never read it.

They smirk, maybe even chuckle at your latest photo on IG, resisting the urge to double-tap like there’s a disease on the heart button.

They faux-ignore you online, yet when you see them in person they can recount the recent success you posted about and offer you a congratulatory cheer. Meanwhile, your thinking ‘Oh, I didn’t know you even knew about that – seeing as you didn’t comment, like or share.’ [Insert side eye here]. But, you have way more swag than that so you don’t actually say it. You just smile and say “Thank you so much!” ?

Immediately, you file that person in your mental lurker file.

As well you should.

Yeah, that can be super frustrating but here’s how you can deal with that:

  1. Don’t be that person. Celebrate every win you see. In fact, go out of your way to look for other people’s wins to celebrate. Lurkers just haven’t learned the secret to their success is in direct relation to their ability to be genuinely happy for someone’s else’s success.
  2. Try, hard as it might be, to understand. If you have a lurker that means you’re doing something right. Lurkers don’t lurk the unlurkable. If you understand that, they won’t bother you as much.
  3. Remember the work you are putting out there is not for applause or approval. You are simply doing something with what you have. You’re not gloating, you’re just trying to do something significant to better the world. Sometimes, that makes other people uncomfortable.
  4. Go to their pages and like everything. Just do it. They might need a hug. Give them a virtual one.
  5. Trust the process. Lurkers usually turn into fans, hang tight. But even if they don’t, keep doing you.
  6. Pay attention to those who are cheering you on and be grateful for them. Let those cheering voices drown out the silence of your lurkers. If you have ONE person cheering you on, you got what you need.

Keep being great, I’m cheering for you! (And, I’m super generous with my double taps)

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